i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
