he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
