On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
