i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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