Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
