apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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