Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
