He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
