VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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