Im at strip club and am horny
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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