i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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