She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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