oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
