I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
