i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
