I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i came on her dog
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
