i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
