he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
