I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
