I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
