the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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