Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
