i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
