why didn't you poke me back
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
