We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
