When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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