oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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