How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Damn victory sex feels great
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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