Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
