I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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