I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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