You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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