Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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