I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
