im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
