I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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