Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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