If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
