That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
did you just send me my own nude
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
