I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The air was thick with penises
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
