You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
