I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
