I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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