i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
