your parents love me but you hate me
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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