If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
