hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
