why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The adults are the big ones right?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
