You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
