I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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